i am not superwomen but a 20 year old gurl

i lost myself again...yes is again, how long more i have to go through this. it really kill me so god damn freaking well. i dont think so i still can keep it in my heart, keep everything well in my heart. It make me crazy really. i feel like wanna escape everything that i have gone through. escape to a place that nobody know me and started my whole new life, but financial does allow me to do that. Start from when i keep myself in my room? Start from when i keep on watch anime and reading novel? Start from when i keep on hiding every single feeling that i have? and start from when i become shopaholic? i could stop myself from all of this. One wrong decision bring me into hell, yes a decision that study this. It stress me a lot actually. non stop assignment, no day no life, and people around will only said that hey this is what designer should be"no life". Maybe i really dont like this sub or maybe the pressure that my family give, make me cnt even breathe. because of financial i make this decision, because of you i make this decision. 1st time ever i feel like escape from you, 1st time ever i feel like giving up the whole world, i am not super women that all of you though, i have feeling, i have heart and soul. i feel totally lonely, try to accept everything but is not that easy for me, for the person like me. This is not what i wan...and i will get what i one soon...keep in mind that my love will always be yours but surely i will keep this away from you, and bring it away to another place